Beyond Your Self-Confidence List
Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself, how confident you are, how accomplished you feel. It reflects whether a person loves, accepts, and believes in who they are. For some of us, however, it can go up and down. One day you might feel really on top of everything, great about yourself, unafraid to try anything. And the next day, you're just as likely to feel completely at the bottom, unsure of yourself, afraid to say or do anything.
Building high self-esteem is a process, not something you can develop overnight. And this isn't necessarily easy. Yet, every single person has the capacity of high self-esteem. The question is, are you ready to make a commitment to increase your self-esteem?
If your answer is yes, here are some tips to get you started:
1. Stop comparing yourself with other people.
Human beings can amplify or reduce their value by contrasting themselves either positively or negatively with others. But if you play the comparison game, you'll run into too many "opponents" you can't defeat. There will always be some people who have more than you and some who have less. So stop comparing!
2. Stop the critic inside of you.
Some people have a bad habit of putting themselves down often. They say negative things to themselves like, "I'm always late. Why am I such a flake?" or "There you go again, stupid!" So get in the new habit of catching yourself saying critical things about yourself and learn to silence your inner critic. And if this is unavoidable, at least tone down the level of your criticism.
3. Forgive and forget.
Do not waste your time and energy thinking of past hurts. Your time can be wisely spent for other productive things rather than forlorn thoughts. We make mistakes, even when we're trying our best. Sometimes you just have to apologize, let it go and move on.
4. Associate with positive, supportive people.
The "real you" is a magnificent, unique being with enormous potential and capacity for experiencing love of yourself and extending love to others. So keep your interest in life at a high level by being in the company of enthusiastic people. This way, you will get infected by their positive attitude. You will view the world in its full shining glory and move around oozing with energy. In the same manner, it would be wise to stay away from negatively inclined thinkers. When you are surrounded by negative people who constantly put you and your ideas down, your self-esteem is lowered.
5. Get involved in work and activities you love.
It's hard to feel good about yourself if your days are spent in work you hate. Self-esteem flourishes when you are engaged in work and activities that you enjoy and make you feel valuable. And even if you're not in a position to make immediate changes in your career, you can still devote some of your leisure time to enjoyable hobbies or activities.
6. Be true to yourself.
Live your own life - not the life someone decided is best for you. You will never gain your own respect and you will never feel good about yourself if you aren't leading the life you want to lead. So if you're still making decisions based on getting approval from friends and relatives, you aren't being true to yourself and your self-esteem is lowered.
7. Talk affirmatively to others and yourself.
Words carry enough power that can either hurt other people or yourself. Similarly, words can generate enough power to give warmth and comfort. So be conscious of your choice of words. Choose affirmative words when speaking with someone.
8. Quit blaming yourself for mistakes in the past.
Many things in our lives are only minimally in our control, but those of us who develop low self-esteem take the full blame for the resulting negative outcomes. Instead, learn to honor your efforts and give proper credit for things that you have done well. Following a practical approach for managing your self-esteem will prevent it from becoming a problem and keep you off that rollercoaster.
9. Make a long list of your personal breakthroughs.
Think of times when you did something that you thought that never could do but managed to pull off successfully. These breakthroughs can generate an authentic source of never-ending pride in you. Read this list often. While reviewing it, close your eyes and recreate the feelings of satisfaction and joy you experienced when you first attained each success.
10. Make a list of your positive qualities.
Not everyone has your unique abilities and talents. Are you honest? Unselfish? Helpful? Creative? Be generous with yourself and write down at least 20 positive qualities. Again, it's important to review this list often. Most people dwell on their inadequacies and then wonder why their life isn't working out. Start focusing on your positive traits and you'll stand a much better chance of achieving what you wish to achieve.